Burdens are meant to be shared
Motivational Monday
The size of your burden is never as important as the way you carry it. Lena Horne
Burdens are a part of life, even though we all wish they will disappear. Burdens can be light or heavy but in both circumstances it requires we carry a load. Most of us instinctively carry our burdens alone for a variety of reasons. We perhaps dislike vulnerability, habitually jump into problem-solving mode, don’t want to be a burden, and/or have developed a habit of going it alone.
My cousin reminded me of an incident in college with an English Professor. I handed in a paper that was graded pretty harshly. I was disappointed but was resolved to do better when I received the paper, understanding the transition from high school to college. After class, the professor approached me and said, well I often have this issue with Black students from inner-city neighborhoods and schools, your writing styles require work. WHAT? Ok wait, I was in a busing program and was sent to one of the top “suburban” schools in CT and graduated with high honors. Regardless, even if I had attended an inner-city school his bias about me and my education, had already determined my success in his class. I immediately went to see Dean Keith Motley (then Dean of Minority Student Affairs) who (with me in tow) addressed him on my behalf. Thereafter, we marched to the Dean’s office where he articulated his concerns and demanded better. My burden was shared!! In the next class, I felt empowered knowing the way I carried that burden showed up in that classroom. After class, he approached me again, but this time with less arrogance stating you didn’t have to tell on me. I stated you didn’t have to say what you said. Case closed.
So don’t go it alone. Find someone to share your burden. Whether it is an advocate or an adviser burdens are meant to be shared.
Questions to consider
What is a pressing burden?
Who can you share it with?
What do you need from them to help you?
What holds you back from sharing your burdens?
How did it feel when you seek and receive help?
