Shirell Gross 7/14/20 Shirell Gross 7/14/20

Run your own race.....

Take it on Tuesday!!

Like happiness, unhappiness usually springs from a comparison. Mokokoma Mokhonoana

I have found that comparing myself with others completely distracts me from my journey. Both contemporary and ancient wisdom warns us about the danger of comparison. Why is it so harmful? To name a few- its distracting, breeds unhealthy feelings of envy and jealousy, invites anxiety and depression, and most of all it's a complete waste of time.

Your race is yours so there's no need to jump into another lane to run someone's race. You have enough to do getting yourself to the finish line. Have faith that all will work out for you just as it is meant to be. Focus on preparing yourself and resting in the experience of your journey.

Shirell Gross 7/13/20 Shirell Gross 7/13/20

Face the real problem

Motivational Monday!

"Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced"- James Baldwin

As we settle into another month of uncertainty, it can bring about paralyzing or knee jerk reactions to problems. You may be trying to grab a hold of what the future holds while still trying to tend to your needs, want, and desire. For some companies, it's a recognition they need to change, but don't quite know what to do. As a result, there is a rush to do something. But, in the meantime, they fail to tend to the employees who are patiently waiting for some of that generosity to trickle down their path.

The issue is not wanting to face the real problem. For companies, it's easier to grab external people than to face the hard truth and honest feedback of their employees. Perhaps, it's not wanting to face you have outgrown your role fearing a move in our unstable society.

Change will not happen without hard facts and making tough decisions. The road is bumpy before it is smooth, but the work will clear a path for a better future.

Shirell Gross 6/29/20 Shirell Gross 6/29/20

Stay focused on Self-acceptance

As I get older, the more I stay focused on the acceptance of myself and others and choose compassion over judgment and curiosity over fear.

Tracee Ellis Ross

Motivational Monday!!

As a rising Executive/Leader I exhibited lots of confidence, even on days I did not necessarily feel that way on the inside. It is very hard to accept yourself in an environment where you are either the only or one of a few AND you experience repeated (subtle and overt) forms of inequity, gender, and racial biases. But I am a fighter so I kept going.

Companies are pledging for a better future, but "real change" requires new mindsets, structural and systemic changes, and the heart to get it right. Time will tell which companies are willing to do the work and make the sacrifice for change.

In the meantime, focus on your own self-acceptance and development. You have to take responsibility for yourself, there is no rescue boat coming.

When you open yourself up to new people and experiences you realize you have more inside of you than what you believed. Suddenly, fear, doubt, and judgment start to lose its grip and excitement, curiosity and boldness can take its place

Shirell Gross 6/15/20 Shirell Gross 6/15/20

It's time to Bloom!

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom-Anais-Nin

The fear of the unknown is one of the greatest reasons why we don't change. Whether it's an organization failing to look deeply at their institutional structures that may hinder equitable opportunities for leadership OR as individuals suffering through not living to our potential, the pain will eventually become too great. As humans, we often wait until there's a societal or an internal spiritual uprising to change, much of what we are seeing right now. The pain became too much to bear.

Take time to assess where you are and what changes you need to make in your organization or life to truly blossom. Don't wait until the pain becomes so great and decisions literally become a matter of life or death. When you take a step towards progress, face the unknown you will find that it is not that scary after all. Knowing exactly all the steps forward is a little overrated, you squander the adventures of the journey.

#change #changeleadership #shirellspeaks #courageousleadership #blossom #change

Shirell Gross 5/26/20 Shirell Gross 5/26/20

Be grounded in humility

Take it on Tuesday

Humility, that low, sweet root, from which all heavenly virtues shoot.-Thomas Moore

Have you ever taken the time to really understand humility? Humility can mean so many things, but one thing is clear it is deeply connected to our ego-self. We are given inconsistent messages, be humble but be prideful. Be humble, but define your worth solely on ego standards of success and riches. Be humble, but have a high view of yourself so that others will respect you. Be humble, but treat others as if they are less important than you.

In reality, you must guard yourself on being controlled by the ego-self because it will fool you into inflated self-importance and make you dangerously proud. For me humility is a state of being, not actions. I strive for sincere humility every day so that I can be open to learning, growing, and supporting others. My humility is the source of my strength, not my ego.

Life will have changes, so will the people in your life, jobs, your importance to others, successes, etc it will all change over time. I have seen “great” people and institutions fall and “lower” rise.

But when you seek a spirit of true humility you need not worry. Why? You will move your ego out of the way and you will SEE and BE OPEN for what is on the horizon in your life.

#humility #grounded #shirellspeaks #purpose

Shirell Gross 5/20/20 Shirell Gross 5/20/20

To make a Change.. take the first step

You don't make progress by standing on the sidelines, whimpering and complaining. You make progress by implementing ideas. -Shirley Chisholm

If you are not happy with the direction of your life make a change. We are not born to just exist, but to always be reaching towards full self-actualization of our goals. You may not know all the answers, just do something. Take that first next step, don't wait for others to solve your problems. Own your power

What next step will you take today? Don't let fear stop you, real courage is when you just do it afraid

Shirell Gross 5/11/20 Shirell Gross 5/11/20

Stop playing small to make others look big

Motivational Monday!

If you are confident about your strength, you don’t need to show me by putting someone else down, show me how strong you are that you can lift someone else up-President Barack Obama

I was once talking to a friend about why she left her “big” job. I thought she was doing well where she was and her departure surprised me. She told me plain and simple, she was tired of playing small so that others around her can look bigger. I was so proud of her because the moment she made that decision an even bigger and better opportunity came and she is thriving. We often “play” small to make others more comfortable, to be less threatening, and/or to be seen as a team player. While I can not speak to every situation in this blog, you know when you are playing small. You have that nagging sick feeling in your stomach that you brush aside in order to keep the peace.

I know that feeling and I have been guilty of playing small myself to survive. Unfortunately, in doing so subconsciously I accepted the limited thoughts that then soon plagued my brain. Yes, there will be times when you have to politically navigate situations for a greater outcome. However, consistently playing small will not serve you and you will eventually become the role you are playing. A person who requires you to be small will never champion you for greater things. They are insecure and not strong enough to handle your greatness. If this is you, your first step is to gain awareness of when you are playing small and the second step is to take intentional actions to stop playing small. If you need support to seek it, you will be better off and the future leaders need you to show up in your full power.

Photo by Kiana Bosman

Shirell Gross 5/5/20 Shirell Gross 5/5/20

If you gave your power away... go get it back! (Copy)

Take it Back Tuesday!!

Today, it is truly a take it back day. We sometimes get tired, discouraged, or disappointed and that can cause us to live by habit. What happens when we live by habit? We stop making concrete plans, we don’t hold ourselves accountable, and we engage in unhealthy habits. We are productive, get up, go to work, take care of kids, and/other responsibilities, but we don’t give ourselves dedicated time to think about our life.

I appreciate that it is hard being intentional. Why? Intentionality requires we make tough decisions and be in scary places. For some of us, someone and/or circumstances caused us to stop believing in ourselves. or expecting more for our life. Undoubtedly, there are people who do not wish the best for you, and life sometimes knocks you down. But, we remember 2 things-there are more people for you than against you! and life also has a mixture of good and bad times. It is so easy to get into a false mental trap, the mind naturally holds on to negative thoughts. Our minds ruminate over lack and what we are not. But, you must train our brain and take your power back.

So, if you handed your power to another that makes you make you feel like less, go and get it back. If you handed your power to the falsities of your mind, go get it back. Decide today, you will take 10 minutes to sit down every day over the next week and make intentional decisions about your life. Write it down! Find an accountability partner. Don’t be afraid, you have all the courage you need nesting inside.

You don’t become what you want, you become what you believe-Oprah Winfrey

Shirell Gross 5/4/20 Shirell Gross 5/4/20

If you gave your power away... go get it back!

Take it Back Tuesday!!

You don’t become what you want, you become what you believe-Oprah Winfrey

Shirell Gross 4/27/20 Shirell Gross 4/27/20

Boundaries wanted-Remember You are only human

You are only human: Set boundaries

Take It On Tuesday!

It is so easy in times like this to just keep letting it pile on. We begin to take on superhuman traits and falsely think we actually have superpowers. I have bad news, you are only human. We know it doesn’t feel right, but we fear judgment regarding lack of commitment or an ability to handle “it” so we just keep pushing. But, in reality, true leaders create boundaries.

Earlier in my career, I had taken on a lot of projects in order to get ahead. At the same time, I was managing work, family, and community service. Because I was overextended, I was not showing up anywhere in the manner I desired. I failed to meet a client deliverable and the client gave me great advice. He said your inability to manage your time and deliverables speaks volumes about your inability to manage yourself and create boundaries. You must fix that if you want to stay on track to be a senior leader. Wow. So basically, translation no good deed goes unpunished. So, let me give you a few tips on creating boundaries for yourself and others::

Set clear expectations of what you are able to deliver and when -this is especially critical during this time.
If you are not able to make a commitment, communicate, and set a new deliverable as soon as possible.
Block out times for different tasks and advise others when you need focused time to be alone and/or work on a project.
If you are homeschooling, give yourself some flexibility and recognize this is not a perfect time to overcommit.
If you have competing priorities, communicate your priorities and if you are not able to handle it on your own, seek senior leadership and/or client input on prioritizing deliverables.

Creating boundaries lets everyone know you are in fact committed to being the best you, and that in the end is what matters.