RESET in 2023
he secret of getting ahead is getting started-Mark Twain.
This is the time of the year when we set new goals and dreams. We really need to simplify this journey to avoid the self-fulfilling letdown. How do we do that? Well, the daily focus should not be the big goal(s), rather the focus should be the small steps we take every day to reach our goals. Also, have a growth mindset and do not fixate on the ultimate goal(s), remaining flexible to pivot as needed because life and minds do change!
I firmly believe in RESETS, not just at the top of the year but taking advantage of the everyday opportunity to start again.
So, here are a few of my tips:
RESET
R-Remind yourself of your why when you are really ready to give up
E-Everyday is a day to start over again
S-Speak affirming words to yourself-manage the negative self-talk
E-Everybody will have an opinion, but does it matter? Probably not
T-Tell only a trusted few about your goals but tell someone that will help keep you accountable
2023-Let's keep it simple, release the drama and take it one day at a time.
Getting Unstuck
Take it on Tuesday!
The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation which is always neutral-which always is what it is. Eckhart Tolle
Getting unstuck is simple change your perspective, and you change the situation. Oprah Winfrey
I know for myself this is not easy to accept, but it is true. Our mindset is the lens through which we see every situation. Our mindset is always the basis from which we feel empowered or helpless.
I often say there is no rescue boat coming, so if you want to get to the other side, you better start rowing. Getting unstuck is hard because we often look for people or external situations to lift us out of this debilitating situation. But in essence, we have to decide the next steps and create the path for which we will get unstuck.
So, if you are stuck ask yourself
1. What habits are you repeating?
2. What can you do that you have not done to change your situation?
3. What action plan have you put in place?
Being stuck is a mindset. Change your mind, change your life.
#mindset #goals #breakthroughs #unstuck
Choose peace
Take it on Tuesday!
Nothing can bring you peace but yourself -
Ralph Waldo Emerson
We have lots of ways to help calm anxiety. Meditation apps, exercise classes, hanging out with friends, our spiritual journey, etc. But the common denominator in all of these is YOU. Nothing will work without acting with intention and making a decision to choose peace. We have lots of excuses and/or explanations but in reality, we get to choose how we will live our life.
Don't wait for others to give your peace, only you can do that for yourself.
#peace #peaceofmind #acceptance #acceptyourself
Are you showing your employees the way?
Motivational Monday!!
When you find a man who has lost his way, you don't make fun of him and scorn him and leave him there. You show him the way. If you don't do that, you prove that you're sort of lost yourself.- Zora Neale Hurston
As a leader, our job is not to constantly criticize our employees or others below our chain of command, but to work earnestly to bring them up to performance standards. So often, we lose the patience and empathy required to put an employee back on the path to better performance. Instead, we jump to the familiar course of "managing them out" of the organization.
I am not denying that there are times that is the best course for the employee and the organization. However, before you jump to that conclusion take a step back to make sure you did your part as a leader. That is, did you show them the way or did you leave them to figure it out by themselves?
Just keep coming
Motivational Monday!
Nothing can stop the power of a committed and determined people to make a difference in our society. Why? Because human beings are the most dynamic link to the divine on this planet.-John Lewis
John Lewis reminds us that we can never underestimate the power of commitment and determination and our individual ability to effectuate change. We do not always have to come to the table with the right answers. However, just keep coming with the right attitude AND the will to make a difference, the change will come.
#change #makeadifference #consistency
Drop the Mic conversation with the YWCA of Northern New Jersey
A great conversation with YWCA CEO Helen Archontou discussing:
1. Leadership development
2. Mentor and Sponsorship
3. Black women advocating for themselves in the work environment and allyship
4. Pathways to promotion
5. Role modeling
Copy in browser
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=3298161647075506
What is your motivation?
Motivational Monday!
What's your motivation?
There are times in life when staying the course becomes harder and harder as obstacles seem to constantly get in the way. The obstacles can be challenges, negative thinking, fatigue, unfavorable circumstances, people, etc. It is so easy to give up when it doesn't seem to be working out. That is the perfect time to ask yourself what is your motivation?
Your motivation has to come from deep inside. When we have conversations about purpose, intentional living etc., it can be a de-motivator if you are still trying to find your way. But, if you simply take the time to ask yourself what is my motivation for staying your course, you suddenly realize your reasons are often greater than yourself and that revelation alone gives you purpose.
So, when you are weary and you want to give up, ask yourself what is my motivation?
#motivation #purpose #intentional #dontgiveup #shirellspeaks
Run your own race.....
Take it on Tuesday!!
Like happiness, unhappiness usually springs from a comparison. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
I have found that comparing myself with others completely distracts me from my journey. Both contemporary and ancient wisdom warns us about the danger of comparison. Why is it so harmful? To name a few- its distracting, breeds unhealthy feelings of envy and jealousy, invites anxiety and depression, and most of all it's a complete waste of time.
Your race is yours so there's no need to jump into another lane to run someone's race. You have enough to do getting yourself to the finish line. Have faith that all will work out for you just as it is meant to be. Focus on preparing yourself and resting in the experience of your journey.
Face the real problem
Motivational Monday!
"Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced"- James Baldwin
As we settle into another month of uncertainty, it can bring about paralyzing or knee jerk reactions to problems. You may be trying to grab a hold of what the future holds while still trying to tend to your needs, want, and desire. For some companies, it's a recognition they need to change, but don't quite know what to do. As a result, there is a rush to do something. But, in the meantime, they fail to tend to the employees who are patiently waiting for some of that generosity to trickle down their path.
The issue is not wanting to face the real problem. For companies, it's easier to grab external people than to face the hard truth and honest feedback of their employees. Perhaps, it's not wanting to face you have outgrown your role fearing a move in our unstable society.
Change will not happen without hard facts and making tough decisions. The road is bumpy before it is smooth, but the work will clear a path for a better future.
Burdens are meant to be shared
Motivational Monday
The size of your burden is never as important as the way you carry it. Lena Horne
Burdens are a part of life, even though we all wish they will disappear. Burdens can be light or heavy but in both circumstances it requires we carry a load. Most of us instinctively carry our burdens alone for a variety of reasons. We perhaps dislike vulnerability, habitually jump into problem-solving mode, don’t want to be a burden, and/or have developed a habit of going it alone.
My cousin reminded me of an incident in college with an English Professor. I handed in a paper that was graded pretty harshly. I was disappointed but was resolved to do better when I received the paper, understanding the transition from high school to college. After class, the professor approached me and said, well I often have this issue with Black students from inner-city neighborhoods and schools, your writing styles require work. WHAT? Ok wait, I was in a busing program and was sent to one of the top “suburban” schools in CT and graduated with high honors. Regardless, even if I had attended an inner-city school his bias about me and my education, had already determined my success in his class. I immediately went to see Dean Keith Motley (then Dean of Minority Student Affairs) who (with me in tow) addressed him on my behalf. Thereafter, we marched to the Dean’s office where he articulated his concerns and demanded better. My burden was shared!! In the next class, I felt empowered knowing the way I carried that burden showed up in that classroom. After class, he approached me again, but this time with less arrogance stating you didn’t have to tell on me. I stated you didn’t have to say what you said. Case closed.
So don’t go it alone. Find someone to share your burden. Whether it is an advocate or an adviser burdens are meant to be shared.
Questions to consider
What is a pressing burden?
Who can you share it with?
What do you need from them to help you?
What holds you back from sharing your burdens?
How did it feel when you seek and receive help?
Stay focused on Self-acceptance
As I get older, the more I stay focused on the acceptance of myself and others and choose compassion over judgment and curiosity over fear.
Tracee Ellis Ross
Motivational Monday!!
As a rising Executive/Leader I exhibited lots of confidence, even on days I did not necessarily feel that way on the inside. It is very hard to accept yourself in an environment where you are either the only or one of a few AND you experience repeated (subtle and overt) forms of inequity, gender, and racial biases. But I am a fighter so I kept going.
Companies are pledging for a better future, but "real change" requires new mindsets, structural and systemic changes, and the heart to get it right. Time will tell which companies are willing to do the work and make the sacrifice for change.
In the meantime, focus on your own self-acceptance and development. You have to take responsibility for yourself, there is no rescue boat coming.
When you open yourself up to new people and experiences you realize you have more inside of you than what you believed. Suddenly, fear, doubt, and judgment start to lose its grip and excitement, curiosity and boldness can take its place
Control your Expectations to an Inconsistent person
“Consistency is the true foundation of trust. Either keep your promises or do not make them.”
― Roy T. Bennett
Take it on Tuesday!!
This quote actually has two lessons, both related to the importance of being a trustworthy person.
1. Be consistent on how you show up for yourself and others. We all know people that in every interaction you don't know what to expect. Will they be on point or sloppy? Will they respond or ignore you? Will they be pleasant or mean? I need not say anymore. Just know, Inconsistent people can not be trusted period. If you are wrecking your brain trying to adjust your life to or understand an inconsistent person, don't bother they will derail your goals. Accept it, learn from it, and then move on.
2. Promises are not made to be broken. We have entered into a "loose promises" society. Yes, we all have broken promises, but the better discipline is to be more intentional about making promises. People often get distracted or lose interest in past promises and then easily break them. Be leery of people who make promises too quickly, it is better that you manage your expectations vs becoming overly upset over a broken promise.
You can not control others, but you can control your expectations.-Shirell Gross
A friend of mine always say, when someone shows you who they are believe them.
www.shirellspeaks.com
#trust #shirellspeaks
